Too often when we get married ... or maybe it's when we have children, we lose ourselves in that role. I'm a wife now. I'm a mother now. Somehow being a mother makes us decide everything else doesn't matter at all and we forget our dreams. We forget who we were once.
I started thinking about the things my husband wants and my kids need or want. It's good to care about these things. They are important things to care about. It's good to value what other people want. But don't lose yourself in it! I got to the point where I would feel guilty for buying a bottle of fingernail polish for $2 because it wasn't important enough. It was a waste of money. I had to ask my husband's permission first. Was it him that made me feel this way? No, it was me.
Although it is not right to completely and selfishly disavow responsibilities for dreams, it is ok to dream! It really is.
So sit down and remember who you were before you were married. Remember what you cared about, what you dreamed about every day. Remember what you aspired for.
Before I was married, I loved to sing. I liked doing my hair. I liked being with people and learning from them. I wanted to write a book. I wanted to be a mother someday, but I also wanted to travel. I wanted to see Paris. I wanted to see Prince Edwards' Island. I wanted to meet celebrities. I loved art. I wanted to create it, but felt I couldn't do it well enough. I loved climbing our willow trees. I loved dreaming about love and romance. I liked creating heartfelt gifts for other people. I liked going places with friends. I had a curiosity for being rebellious but never really was. I admired rebels. :) I liked to drive. Just drive until I got lost and then found myself again.
That's still me. I can still dream about these things. Of course, I shouldn't strive for those dreams at the expense of what is most important to me, my family, but I can still dream of these things and remember who I am. I can still remember what I used to care about, even if my husband doesn't care about those things so much. It's ok to do that. It's not selfish.
So go write down the things you value and dream about. Just you. Not what your kids like. Not what your husband wants. Just what you want. It's ok to buy that bottle of fingernail polish once in a while. It's ok to dream.