Today I contemplated about married life and single life in a different way then I ever have before.
When I got married, I sadly said goodbye to single life. I don't know why I was sad and felt I'd miss being single because being single was never so wonderful to me. I hardly had the chance to enjoy it with all the hideous relationships I had with people I shouldn't have had relationships with. I thought of being single as the fun days I would miss out on more then the ones I'd miss because I hadn't really had it the way I wanted it. I envisioned being single and confident and enjoying myself. Then, being married, I thought of that alter-reality of "what-ifs" as though being single was glorified in my mind and wished for.
Today I looked at it differently. I realistically thought about what my life would be like today if I had never gotten married. I wouldn't be having a blast, free and fun, confident and dating all the time. I would most likely be a lonely sad girl who wished for more attention then she was getting and therefore finding herself in more hideous relationships that she shouldn't be in.
With this in mind, I looked over at my husband. Then I looked at my kids.
I am blessed.
I have people in my life I couldn't live without.
So I told my hubby in that moment (because he deserves to know), "I don't think I could live without you."
Because it's true.